It's the final countdown!

Tonight, Fox airs all four remaining Arrested Development episodes. All together. Tonight. Versus the Olympic hoo-ah thing.

Unfortunately, it's a fitting end (?) to the relationship between Fox and AD. Although the show has won critical acclaim and has a fierce cult following, Fox has seemed indifferent to its fortunes--changing its time slot, failing to promote it, and cutting back its order of new episodes for this season. Which brings us to this point, the one where AD fans are wondering what's going to happen next. It's been reported that ABC and Showtime have expressed interest in picking the show up, and it's not been officially canceled by Fox. However, it's clear that Fox doesn't believe in the show, so it's a pretty good bet that tonight's appearance will be AD's last on that network.

It's frustrating when good new shows can't seem to get any traction. However, it's different than it was ten years ago, or even five, when a struggling show would be canceled and that would pretty much be that. These days, there's a decent chance a cable network will breathe new life into a show left for dead by another network. And even if the show can't be revived, at least the DVDs are readily available--a much better option than hoping someone picks up the show in syndication.

So we'll tune in tonight for The Last Huzzah and hope maybe it's not really the last.

P.S. Hey, next time you want to say "kudos," say "plaudits" instead. It'll make people think you're smart or edgy or something.

If you looked up love-hate relationship in my dictionary, you'd probably see a picture of a diamond. Isn't it beautiful? Just look at the way it sparkles, at its depth...it's just a tiny little thing, but it looks like you could jump into it and swim around, caressed by the purest and cleanest shiny...I mean, I hate it! I am not that vain or materialistic or shallow.

The folks at DTC (weren't they the peeps who used to be DeBeers?) are on to me. Their dastardly scheme is to disgust me with commercials about how women desperately need something called a right hand ring this Valentine's Day, knowing that it will draw me to their website so as to find material to mock on my blog. They know that once I'm there, the pretty rings in the fancy Flash displays will make me forget all about my righteous indignation.

Let me be clear: it really bothers me that there's a market for this crap. I have all kinds of self-satisfied disdain for women who expect men to show their affection by buying them expensive baubles they can wear to make other women jealous. I can't understand how some people see no problem with spending thousands of dollars on a trinket to adorn their hand when people in their own community struggle to pay one month's power bill, and I don't want to understand it.

But wow, diamonds are pretty. Not just pretty, but powerful. There's something enchanting and poetic about them, something that makes me want them in spite of my moral objections to the kind of conspicuous consumption their possession represents.

So yeah, DTC, I took your stupid quiz, and I found out that I'm a Dazzling Diva, "sexy, confident, and comfortable in the spotlight," and I need this on my hand if I want to touch a man's arm with full flirtatious effect. Diva?! What kind of self-centered, manipulative prima donna do you think I am? Huh? Answer me, DTC! And while you're at it, answer me this: you got that in a 5?

Every time you pleasure yourself, you make the world a better place!

Or so says Mama Gena. I really ought to know better than to watch the freebie programs on digital cable, particularly the ones called "Womanly Arts 101," but my curiosity sometimes gets the better of me. It's not as if I expected it to be educational, entertaining, or worthwhile in any other respect, yet I didn't stop watching it. Which I should have from the cringeworthy beginning, when Mama Gena walked out onto the leg-wax-infomercial-style set and yelled, "Hello, Sister Goddesses!" Man, what I wouldn't do to get those eight minutes of my life back.

Anyways, it turns out that the reason my life sucks is that I don't spend enough time seeking my own pleasure. And learning to do so is not as simple as just discovering how to saturate my EIGHT THOUSAND PLEASURE-SENSITIVE NERVE ENDINGS with sensual stimulation. No, it also involves manipulating men and bragging a lot. You know, pretty much anything I can do to make myself the center of my attention. Mama Gena has uncovered the heartbreaking tragedy of modern feminine existence: we're not self-centered enough. Whodathunkit?

The situation is actually worse than you think, because it turns out that it's my lack of self-centeredness that is making the rest of the world suck too:

By helping you tap into the very center of your pleasure and helping you learn to speak the language of your desires, we will teach you how use the power of pleasure to have your way with the world. By fanning the flames of your desires, you open the door to pleasure and fun for everyone. Your desires spring forth, and your life changes; your life changes, and the world follows suit - this is the magnificence and power of a lit-up woman.

The great news in all of this is that for just $4,950, any woman can learn how to be as self-centered as she needs to be to make the rest of the world happy! Some incentives and tuition breaks are available for those not wealthy enough to embrace their fabulousness. This should remove any doubts you had about Mama Gena's devotion to the mission of mass-turbation. Er, I mean, accepting our inner goddess. Or something.

I'm thinking it might be worth five large just to see if perhaps my writing skills could ascend to these heights once I get all goddess-y.

'sup? Thanks for stopping by. Sorry for the lame first post...just a test for getting this thing off the ground.

I can't promise I'll update regularly or have anything interesting to say. I'll try to post about the big and little things that are happening in our lives, so you far-flung friends and family can know what's up with us without sending an email you know I'm too lazy to reply to. I also intend to practice some writing.

Julia's birthday is coming up this month (the 26th). It's hard to believe she's already a year old! We couldn't have wished for a more delightful child...it's so hokey, but sometimes I see her smile and feel so happy that I think I never really knew what being happy was before she was a part of my life.

Dan's really into his homebrewing thing lately. He's already made a red ale and a Scotch ale that were both delicious. He's got a brown ale and stout aging now, and is hoping to make a Belgian ale this weekend. I can't wait until the new ones are ready--we're already out of the first two he made! He's doing a great job with it and is really enjoying himself...nice way to relax on the weekends.

It's storming outside now. Kinda weird to hear thunder in February.

Gotta run--much cleaning to do. Check back later!